Mary's Blogs

Times are tough. That’s all I can say for what’s going on in life right now. But as much as the world keeps beating down on my life, God is strengthening my heart ten times more than I can truly imagine. I cry NOT because I am hurt by the troubles but because God is too gracious to me. He keeps showing me love through community. He shows me love through the events around me that comes into play. How can I say that life is tough right now when He PLACED Himself in suffering for us so that we could be with Him. He put Himself in that situation. It’s not to say that he wasn’t scared, ’cause as a human, of course he was scared. He was so distressed and troubled that His soul was “grieved to the point of death” (Mark 14:33-34), yet He still endured the pain to allow us all that chance to be with Him. Wow. Isn’t our God amazing? THIS is our God.

I know right now if I was a third party looking into what’s going on in life right now I’d say “wow, that girl is crazy.” But as the very person feeling the suffering I ask in return, how can a daughter feel anything BUT over joyed by the love that her Father continues to give? The hour before I felt the stumbling block hit me in the face, I realized that my Father allowed me the most amazing opportunity to spend time in worship with Him.  Not only did we worship with our voices but with instruments as well and I wasn’t by myself, but with most of the friends I love so dearly. I would not have done that day any other way.  And as I go on with life day by day, I continue to feel spoiled by the things that come up during the week. Is the stumbling block still apparent? Yes of course. It’s right in front of my face. However God has placed me in a tub full of His love that I can’t keep from smiling as I am looking at this large wall that is blocking my way. I can’t help but smile and I will continue to do so until and after my Father has pushed down the wall.

One story to reminisce HOW it started when I came to desire more than just knowing about God:
The desire to learn more about who He was in my life sparked from the realization that I have friends whose love for me is more real than I can imagine. I knew where it came from because they had something that other dorm friends did not; they had God. Tonight as I was telling a dear friend about the troubles I was facing, it was harder for me to see the tears that bubbled in her eyes than for me to actually tell her what was happening in life at the moment. The love I felt from her at that moment was enough to remind me of just how spoiled I am by God to have friends like this.  “Thanks for being in my life,” she said. I thank God for purposefully placing her in my life as well as others who have shared in spreading His love.

Disclaimer: I realized I sound like I’m about to die. I’m not. Just wanted to point that out.

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