Mary's Blogs

Somehow I’ve been feeling a loss of desire.  This I find is the worse thing that could happen.  I tend to feel less willing to do things, less willing to see people, less willing to do much of anything.  The only person who can and has helped to spark any bit of interest in me to WANT to do anything is my Lord and Savior.  Days tend to be a bit of a drag from time to time.  I’m happy to have my brother around though.  Friends tend to come and go but my Lord remains the same.  In terms of school I feel like a failure.  I’m not smart enough, I don’t have good memory, and I feel like science is starting to become my worst subject.  I feel less motivated to continue on the road of science.

The other day my mama asked me why I’m not trying to become a surgeon and the only thing I could tell her was that I’m trying my best at school and that I’m just not smart enough.  It brought me to tears realizing that I just can’t do it and that my current grades are living proof.  But somehow when mama said that God can give me the wisdom to do it, I am encouraged once more.  My God IS the God who provides.

And so I refuse to give up and I refuse to quit trying.  Although it feels like a drag now, the days to come are much more exciting.

“The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes.” -DEUTERONOMY 1:30
“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” -2 CORINTHIANS 4:16

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